"Pieces of Me"

abookcat:

I am a mess.

I have been reduced to the individuality of my parts

Instead of the sum of them.

I am one part frustration.

A little fluffy kitten ball of rage

Everything annoys me

The sound of the air conditioner rattling to life

The way my left hand curls into a fist when I walk.

The welts on my skin from where my nails dug in too deep.

I am two parts energy.

Revved up on caffeine and alcohol,.

A junkie looking for her next fix.

Jumping from project to project,

Pacing in an endless circle.

Nine steps forward and nine steps back.

Everything snatches up my attention 

Before it is easily lost again

To the next shiny new adventure.

My final part is filled with sadness.

A little girl crying out for her mother as the hour grows late.

Anxious and quivering in the dark 

While flashbacks play over and over

An endless stream of reruns on every channel.

Broken, bruised, and scarred.

All at once too much apathy and emotion.

A broken record.

A shaking hand reaching for the bottle of pills on the nightstand

There’s too much stimulation

But not enough of it

If that makes sense.

So I pace and I scratch

Trying to put the pieces back together

In this rapidly shattering life.

tags:
#bangtan